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Friday, February 15, 2008
good day blogger, i've been feeding you with posts so much that you've gotten too fat huh. now it's time to go on a diet. no more double-posting from diaryland anymore. i stick my tongue out at you, too bad. if you're too fat you risk getting high blood pressure and all that jazz and you may die from a heart attack.
it was nice knowing you once again blogger, i think our relationship has deepened. but all good things have to come to an end. perhaps absence will make the heart grow fonder and i'll come back once in a while to feed you. but dont bank on that yeah :D
exercise more and keep fit yo!
byebye (:
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Hey :D Been a while huh x)
Recounts of events/ days so I won't forget them. More serious stuff at the end, maybe. :D
Valentine's Day (or rather friendship day) yesterday. Haha somehow I find it sort of overrated? But anyway I felt loved :D For hugs and notes and chocolates. Though notes mean more to me than presents la. At the end of school, Abbylee was joking around and she said "Haha I got more presents. I'm more popular" and I happily said "But i got more notes! :D:D" But yeah haha after a while somehow presents lose their novelty, and I'll rather keep notes, because they mean so much more to me.
Reached home at about 6pm, bathed then went over to Dan's house for our Vday gathering. Brandon, cherlyn, xing, gab and linus. Dan made his own party hats and drew huge hearts on them -.- And Gab's the best yo he gave everyone (including the guys) those gay heartshaped balloons. Wonder how he managed to carry them without people staring. Had fun with Dan's Nintendo Wii :D played parapara, asshole daidee. Was cool la, though we ended at around 7.30pm? Rather early, but we needed to get home to do work etc.
That sums up Vday.
Today was such a slack day! FIRE DRILL. And I still can't believe they called the SCDF to participate in the drill too. It's just like ?!?!? And essentially we only had 3 main lessons because they ate up math and uh hall assembly. Was really amusing though couldn't help laughing at times.
Okay now I shall talk about CNY briefly. Went to Malaysia on Wed at around 12.30pm, cause kor was let out of the army at 11am. We reached there in time for reunion dinner with my aunties, granduncle and his family i.e the cousins. Haha it was rather interesting la. Totally embarrassed myself during the laoyusheng thing, because I was uh trying to compete with kor to see who could lift it higher, and well obviously he's taller -.- and I ended up spilling some stuff on the table but nevermind :D I was sitting next to Mervyn, and he took food for me, then mummy was like "Mervyn you're a gentleman, good." And he was being all ego as usual and said "Of course. Being the only guy with 3 sisters, I have to be gentlemanly." Gabriel and Ronald were !!!
Yeah stayed until Friday. We met up for lunch with my extended family on my grandma's side. The Chews. Was quite cool actually, I mean I've never seen any of them! Or even if I did, I was really really young. And my cousins and I don't remember each other anyway. Extended family on nainai's side is MUCH bigger. We've got people in UK (as usual), Australia, US, NZ. Oh and I've got this cousin from Australia who went to Cambodia and he got attached to a church and help out there for 3 months! Coolioz right.
Left for Singapore at about 5pm, reached Singapore at around 9.30pm (no jam :D:D), so we went to the family gathering on my mum's side! Haha great seeing everyone again. Except all the cute nieces went home already because it was late for the ): Jolene! Jonathan! Adele! Yihsin! Boo D: But it's great catching up with cousins.
Oh and I was talking about like me not getting angbaos right. BUT SURPRISE! People just gave us angbaos anyway, but my parents didnt give la. And kor and I were quite DD: when dagu gave us an angbao from nainai (nainai asked her to prepare it for us) and there was like 500RM inside, usually she gives 200. (And sangupo gave us 200RM this time! Last time she gave 100RM) Kor and I were quite well upset cant find the right word.
CNY's different without nainai la. I mean yeah the house just feels a little more empty and it feels weird not like waking up in the morning in Malaysia, going down to read newspapers and after a while see the driver coming back and nainai getting out of the car with all the food we like and everything. But it's okay, we're all getting over it. Doubt there'll ever be a time when one can fully say "I'm over it." (Same for yeye) But yeah, we're moving closer towards it I suppose.
I remember David told me once that when Uncle Rayson died, everything just went by so quickly. He didn't really have time to react and it only sank it later. I guess it's always like that, but David rocks, seriously. He's one of the best dudes around. He loves God, he's smart, athletic, friendly, caring, funny, can sing + play guitar well. Aiyah basically he's really nice- and it's because his walk is right with God la. Oh well, too bad he's my cousin boo. x)
Okay anyway, I've been hearing lots of stories about NS from kor haha I think those friends you meet in NS will most prob be the ones who stay with you for a long time. I mean you go through thick and thin together right, and all your officers' unreasonable punishments (at times). But thank God kor's got a good captain. Like there was this time when they were supposed to do monkeybars (not like our playground one la) and it just rained. So one officer wanted them to get across and there was a time limit. The captain told him to demo for the platoon. The officer slipped and fell, and the captain told him "that's why i asked you to do it first". (Y)
Kor booked in on the Friday of CNY week, so he was released on Tuesday night. Booked in again yesterday at 12pm. Haha from Sat-Tuesday he was having field camp and he couldnt bathe D: so when he came home he was smelly! boo. But he didn't finish his rations la, so he brought it home. And he gave me his vacuum-packed nasi briyani. I shall try it one day. He says I should eat it blindfolded (he usually has biscuits for lunch and eats those meals at night because you cant see ><) and was telling me how when they're eating their officers will tease them and make puking sounds lol. Maybe I'll get to taste their pasta too, if kor manages to get one back :D He's off for some sit test thing? Where basically you go for camp (like really in the forest) and they like give you a lot of pressure and stress and they want to see how you react, and they will place you in like OCS or commandos etc. Kor's such a cheaterbug, he found out all these from David so he knows what to expect more or less. I HOPE KOR'S ABLE TO GO TO OCS THOUGH HOW FUN.
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Okay I'm still deciding whether to quit Shirim or not. Haha the decision to actually start seriously thinking whether qutting Shirim is the best option, was rather tough. Recently I'm realising that hey I'm human, I can't keep dumping things on myself as though I have unlimited time each day. Been sleeping late once again, 1230am is my earliest now (it's not late compared to some people, but I'm one who can't go without sleep. I mean i can not sleep but i wouldnt like it :D), i cant focus all my attention/ effort on one particular commitment, sometimes I feel so tired I get easily irritated and like speak not-so-nicely to mummy and daddy and I make them sad and that's not what I want to do.
Frankly speaking I don't have a lot of commitments actually, just youth, gb, shirim, and now SL project. But all of them require well... a considerable amount of time. I don't want to drop any of them given a choice. But I have to think carefully and weigh everything against each other. But I do have to prepare myself because if there comes a time when I have to make a decision, which commitment will go? I can't and will not drop youth or gb. I'm left with SL and shirim. And honestly I don't know what to do.
I'm passionate about Shirim, and hey it's my last year in Shirim and most prob the last year i'll get to pipe seriously. And i lubbx everyone in band, and through the years i've found the joy of piping- of learning new songs, finally memorising them and playing them on the pipes. And of course, it's a unique way of glorifying and praising God. But at the same time I'm passionate about what we're doing for SL, because I think even though we aren't directly helping the people at the Minds Ideas Employment centre, painting the mural will raise public awareness no doubt and it will boost the clients' (i.e people with ID- intellectual disability) morale. I don't know but since I was young I always had this soft spot for persons with ID. Kor used to tease me and say that there's this affinity between us because I'm one of them. But yeah, I mean my main ambition is to become a doctor, but my next one is to become a social worker. And if one day I do go into social worker, I'm fairly certain that I want to work with persons with ID.
But haha there's a problem with SL though (as Liting and I were talking about). Working with abi can be stressful in times like these, because she's terribly on about it. And sometimes I just can't say no because she's really enthu and all. Not that I'm not enthu, but I have other things on my mind and I'm worried about not being able commit as much as I thought I could. For example, the guy from MINDS was suggesting we go down for half a day to see what exactly goes on in the centre. Abi was suggesting after SLI, but I was thinking that most prob there'll be cantata prep or something right? (It's only what 3 weeks? 4 weeks? to cantata?) And like I think she wants to meet up during march hols, and there WILL be cantata prep on all those days. And I will NOT not go down for gb because of SL, because ultimately GB is the greater responsibility. And I don't know how to tell her that it's not only me who needs to be present for the prep, but her also because she's acting and in charge of souvenirs and all. I just hope we dont meet during the march hols eventually :D
But june hols aren't exactly a good time either. Because there's youth retreat (planning and the retreat itself), youth activities, june camp, PBB camp. And yesterday my parents suggested going over to meet jie and tour UK/ Europe before coming back. I don't whether we'll go eventually la, but there is the clash between responsibility (or should i say obligation) to the project and responsibility to family. I would rank family > project, but at the same time RAWR.
Okay we'll just see how it goes. Enough about SL, I don't need another thing to worry about. Okay back to the Shirim issue.
Don't know whether I should have just kept it to myself instead of telling elissa/ shi hui but I thought it's only fair to them right. I can't just tell them "Hey I'm qutting Shirim" out of the blue. Shirim is one of my passions, but so is SL, and SL is like a passion of my life? Well more or less if there's such a thing, because I mean helping such people is really what I've always wanted to do (since young and especially since i visited APSN in p4). I was debating with myself and saying that Shirim has a higher purpose because we can glorify God, but on the flipside in what way is helping persons with ID not glorifying God? It all depends on one's personal intention and purpose of doing something.
I asked mummy actually whether she thinks I should drop one of my commitments. She said "Yes, but I think if you really try you can definitely cope with them. You are able to." Well so did I, I thought I could cope with them but look how things turn out now. But then I think harder and well maybe I'm just not trying hard enough? Because I mean (like everyone else) there are times when I procrastinate and all so yeah, maybe my mum's right. I am able to do cope with it if i try, and really try.
HAHA you know what I think after typing out this whole long part, I've made my decision. I will try harder and see whether things improve. If things improve, good for me! If not, then I'll be back to square one.
Okay i just realised I'm contradicting myself. Because at the start i was saying something about if one day I really have to make a decision, I need to already have chosen which one to drop. Well but now I've changed my mind. That's not important i shall try a solution and see if the problem persists, if it does then I'll just have to find an alternative method!
YAY GO ME.
And haha go God im sure You were guiding me all this while.
Sorry for this incoherent post, I'm not making much sense. But me makes sense to me! (though one day i do want to make dollars. Okay not funny.) And I know that my beloved diary will not question what i write.
Tomorrow's leadership conference 8.30am-9pm. How are they going to fill up so much time. I'm sad because i'll be missing the youth's cny dinner D: and i was so looking forward to that. Eating with people who are fun to eat with is joy I say.
Okay i'm tired, body aching, coughing somewhat, mum's sick got to wash and fold clothes for her. until then byebye!
simplicity.
*****
Sunday, February 03, 2008
It's kinda scary how one month has come and gone O: This weekend has really been a good break. Been feeling tired throughout the week. But thank God for the weekends! Don't know what I'd do without it.
Played Captain's Ball before youth yesterday. Was rather impromptu. Started off with one ball and halfway through the game someone started adding in more balls D: Like we had this beach ball and some soccer ball and towards the end a rugby ball?! It was fun nonetheless. Was great to have Jon around again, since he got out of the army!
Kor came out on Saturday. Booked in again today at 6pm, so we had a like super early dinner. Kor has grown up (if I am qualified to make such a conclusion :D) Army stories are really interesting. And he was telling me how even though it's quite cool to like learn martial arts (SAF is the cool man, they like incorporate different styles of fighting into one wowza) and fire guns and all that, essentially they're teaching you how to kill someone. And it makes a lot of sense. May we never go to war. World peace yo, world peace.
But one thing I'm really glad about (and my parents too) is that he seems to be drawing closer to God. Like he was telling us how he's been praying more often now (and like when he was doing nainai's eulogy, he brought in God quite a few times which was awesome). And he said how he had a firing test on Tuesday morning (if you fail it you'll have to redo BMT) and he got 2/16 shots (which is really bad la). They had a retest at night (which is totally !!! because isn't it like harder to see at night -.- even if you have your special night vision goggles or whatever) and he prayed before that and he got 12/16! :D Also, he was saying how one of his officers was a Christian and that dude lent him his guitar. And that officer is planning to start a cellgroup and kor was like "so it'll be good la, if I find time for it." And inside I was like :D :D :D
God is awesome yo. I never really thought that army would somehow sort of bring him closer to God, since people say that you learn lots of bad things in the army- foul language etc. But praise the Lord!
His appetite is humongous now, it's scary. Like during nainai's wake right, after the service he'll go get like all the paos and dessert and dimsum that we catered. And if he still feels hungry he'll go to the kitchen and look around for food. Lol. And he's not scrawny anymore! So he looks better now (Y).
Okay anyway enough of the brother.
I'm looking forward to CNY. It's going to be a good break, and meeting up with all the relatives, it's going to be fun. Except mummy told me in the car today that I won't get any angbaos boo. Because nainai passed away, so it's not good to give and take angbaos and stuff, even if people don't mind, because if something really happens then people will start linking things together. Oh well sigh, but it's okay CNY's more than angbaos! CNY this year will be without nainai. Going to be different, but it's alright. Haha it's quite funny how like yeye passed away 1-2 weeks after CNY, and now nainai like before CNY. Going to Malaysia on Wednesday after Kor books out. We'll be visiting sugong and the cousins. I do want to know them better, but honestly it's still quite awkward la. Even with Mervyn, it's more of a distant kind of conversation. He's doing medicine though! Well going to do, starting school in Feb. And Ronald and him may go over to UK, and if they really do it'll be quite interesting because jie will be there. The cousins are really funny though. Like my mummy was telling them that they were very good kids, obedient and what not. And Mervyn was like "No la, not all. Only me only me." Lol. And mummy asked them why Gabriel was darker than them and they said because he exercises more (But Mervyn's a rugger la O: Though he quit already la but still...) Mummy asked why they dont exercise too and Ronald said "Too old la." :D
Jie keeps telling me to talk to them when I meet them during CNY. But it's so awkwarddd... I know Kor wouldn't say anything, and since Jie's over at UK I'm left alone to uh talk. If we got to know them better, it'd be loads of fun I predict. Just like the good old days when we were little kiddos. (When I think about it, sometimes I wish we didn't stop going back to Klang like after I was 6 years old. Because there was this huge gap of what 6 years before we went back there again- during those 6 years we met nainai and yeye and dagu in the condo in Malacca. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Closer to the cousins, not having to trouble nainai and yeye to drive down (though they really didn't mind), less regrets etc. But nevermind it's okay, we start anew)
Life's been okay so far. Doing QT everyday, and that helps immensely. Little sec1s are coming in tomorrow, I hope we'll be a good testimony. So much I want to do this year, academics, GB, youth. But I can't do it on my own. So many things to pray about. Pray pray pray.
Got work to do but I don't want to work. Okay I shall get down to work.
BYE :D
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
